Leah Jessica Martin

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEAH



Yesterday was my 2yo neice's birthday, she is now obviously 3yo. I looked at her yesterday and thought what a blessing she is to me and my family. In the beginning when we first found out that my sister was pregnant with her, i didnt really like the idea of having another child in the house. as this would have been her second child. Yes that was a stupid and childish thought of me lol but yeah thats how some people are when they are at a certain age in their lives and because i am extremely attached to my 7yo nephew her brother i was just that way at the time.


Anyways, Leah as naughty as you are. You are full of life and you have the zest and motivation to do what you want. You always remind me what it is like to fall and then to get up and dust yourself off and do it again. its funny how or greatest teachers are children at the ages of 1-10yrs old. Why i say so is cause they define the word daring and willingness to do and get what they want in love.



So happy birthday Leah, i hope you enjoyed your day yesterday cause you had everyone you loved most around you. I hope you grow into something even more prettier and beautiful then what you already are. MWAH LOVE YOU!!!




20 October 2005

Brilliant email about men

I got this email from a work colleague of mine., that it thought i would put up for all those females who has lost hope in the male species. Hope this gives you some extra hope that there are a few good men out there. the person who sent this email to me is a man but the person who wrote this email is a woman:

WORDS WRITTEN BY AN OBSERVANT WOMAN.

Good men are indeed all around us. We pass them on the streets, in the malls and the halls at work. Most we can't see because we don't know what a good man really looks like. He usually isn't flashy enough or rich enough to turn our heads.

He might not wear a suit or push a BMW. He might not have a "body like Vin Diesel with a Brad Pitt face". But, as you mature, you realize it's better to find someone who's got your back than someone who turns your head.

A good man doesn't agree whole heartedly with everything you say. He doesn't just tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite.

He doesn't declare how sensitive, sweet, caring, sincere, yada yada he is (he wont have to because it shows). He has his own opinions and you may clash, but he doesn't have to degrade you to prove he's right. He even admits at times to being wrong, especially if you are willing to do the same.

A good man is not going to meet every item on your checklist. He is human with frailties and faults mixed in with all of his wonderful, strong attributes. He needs your love and respect. He needs to feel that you don't live to "catch" him doing something wrong so you can declare, "Aha! I knew you were a dog!!"

A good man doesn't necessarily give you a huge birthday or Valentine's gift. He shows his love in the ways that are comfortable to him. Don't judge him by TV standards (...Bold and the Beautiful...). No one lives that fairy tale for real. You'll miss out on your own fairy tale by buying into the myth that our men are no good. It's just not true.

Men, we salute you, and thank you for who you are and all you've done.

Violation

Wow i am back again to air my views and vows on the past few months that have gone past.
it has surely been somewhat a surprise to me as to what has happened this past few months. i have so much to say but i dont really know where to start. but seeing as it looks like im going to have to break it up into individual blog posts. so as you can see the title of this blog is the main thing or somewhat the more serious of the matters that happened to me over the past few months. so here is the 411 on what happened.

So earlier this year i met one of my chat buddies for the first time in something like 2yrs. why we only met then was simply because he lives in one city and me in another. if he wanted to come to my city he had a choice of either taking a 2hr flight, a 10hour bus trip or a 5-6hour car trip to my city. Which is something that wasnt really on the map at the time. however he caught himself visiting his family who lives close to me and that is how we decided to meet. yes before meeting it seemed like if a relationship were to develop then it would be one of the best relationships i have ever been in.

Unfortunately i found out that as he kept telling me that he is single, he was however in a relationship already. Anyways i went through the whole phase of feeling depressed or whatever but it didnt last long. I thought oh well its over and done with nothing i can do but move on. which i did. However that was not the end, the surprise was yet to come. few months later he makes contact with me again and amazingly acts as if nothing happen. oh well as i was over him and put his crap behind me, we met up and chatted about the months that we did not talk to each other. apparently he went through alot and lost alot and realised who the true friends was that he had in his life. much to my surprise i was one of those true friends i didnt know how i was but hey i cant tell someone that they are wrong in their choice of company.

After a few weeks we ended up as a couple and man was that something i have always wanted but after a month i learned that what we always want in life is not always what we need and not always what it would seem like. anyways why we ended this was because he felt the need to violate my privacy, not that i had anything to hide from him or anyone for that matter. But what he did was unethical in my books. To me honestly it is worse then cheating which he basically already did.anyways he took my phone while i was asleep and he went through my messages and emails.

Unfortunately he found a text message that i dont think any partner would be happy about if they found it. It was a 4month old message between my ex and i. He however claimed that the message was sent while we were dating even though we started dating in August and the message is dated May. he still maintains that it was sent when we were dating. DID I MISS ANYTHING? since when does May come before August? well lol they always say there isnt smoke without a fire and yes there was fire. we broke up and miraculously two weeks later he suddenly finds himself in another relationship. QUICK? I think not, where there is smoke there is fire. he violated my privacy so he could cover up his hidden agenda yet i walked away with a clear conscience why cause i did nothing and he, well lets just say what he does from here on out is merely his choice, I AM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!

Things

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.

THOMAS A. EDISON

The talent of success is nothing more than doing what you can do well.

And doing well whatever you do.

LONGFELLOW

Rollercoaster

Do you ride or jump out half way?

What can i say about a roller coaster ride? It has its up's and it has it's down's. It has its good and its bad. Much like life who also has its good and bad times, its up's and down's. I think the saying life is like a roller coaster ride is perfectly suited for the world we live in today. Either you do or you dont. Either you fall or you dont. One thing is for sure when it comes to life you can not chose whether you want it to be a roller coaster ride or not cause luckily for us no matter how we try to curb it, it happens and there is nothing we can do about it or is there?

For the past say close to two months i have discovered both heartache and happiness. hows that for a shocker, how can that possibly be. well i speak of experience and yes it is possible. Heartache wasnt and never is easy to handle and no matter how strong a person is mentally it still hits you hard in various ways. you may try to block it out but some how it always has a weird way of creeping out the wood work and you then feel the pain. I had to lose the person i thought was my one true love to rediscover that he wasnt that. as painful as it was guess what? i can actually sit here and smile about it. cause with that pain i walked away with a smile cause right there by my side is the person that i think is actually meant for me. that is where my happiness comes in.

oh what a great feeling it is to be so sure and so certain about something that feels and is so right. i wish i could feel this way everyday. well the person that i love is unique, he is surely a person in his own league. we may not always see eye to eye but the best of it is that we can talk about it and see if there is a way for both of us to grasp a situation. i know most times its not easy especially for you as you desire more closeness and more affection. but think about it, this may not seem like it now but its binding us cause we know that its not easy but we want it. call it a temporary disclaimer.we may not always have the opportunity to see each other but all i say to you is whenever you want to see me but cant baby surely all you need to do is look inside your heart cause im guaranteed to be there. The past month i have felt so many different and amazing feelings i dont think any amount of words can describe the way it feels other then having to go through it and feeling it.

well subsequently the past 2 weeks things hasnt really gone so smooth, this is the roller coaster effect. i can surely say it is definitely testing us and it isnt easy. But i am glad i chose to take that ride and get over with it so i can smile and be happy again and look at you and say "we did it, fancy that!" with a big ass smile. Life isnt always easy but life isnt always hard. if we focus on what really matters and what we really want and what to us is important i think we can over come the obsticles with ease. i pray everyday that you are in my future and look forward to the future with you in it cause i wouldnt want it anyway else. but in order to have that i have to work toward that. it wont be easy but ima take that ride and hopefully come off smiling. why? because,

Life is like a roller coaster

To Mr AF Duncan

Its not because things are difficult, that we do not dare. Its because we do not dare, that why they are difficult.

My Love

I've lost loved once in my life before
he knew how much I loved him
yet he did what he did
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for was taken for granted
So I made a promise to myself
To avoid circumstances like that
that is why for me i have decided
there's no second chance

i know you dont expect me to decide over night what to do regarding everything that has happen last night. But you will probably get the second chance cause we can not chose who we love!!!