Dear Husband

I can still remember the expression on your face the first time we met. You were different, unique and in a league of your own. Besides the fact that I did not allow you to come near me or touch me. These were attributes that drew me closer to you. Although apart of you seemed to be very broken, you still managed to keep the "sunny side up". Little did we know on that day we would end up dating, nor did we know that we would end up dating for 3years much less did we know that we would be married for over 4years. Quite interesting don't you think? I must say though as different and special as you were back then, there was alot to learn and boy did we learn. Sometimes the easy way and sometimes the hard way. But within time you slowly but surely started showing the TRUE you. Who you really were? What you were? A character in person that no person can turn you into only YOU can do that for yourself. Undoubtedly the more I saw the real you, the more I got drawn into you. The closer we became and the better things became. As you know our relationship did not start filled with a bed of roses. What does Christian Grey say? "Im not the whole hearts and flowers kinda guy". Yep that was you, you were not the hearts and flowers kinda guy. You were to wounded to put yourself into a position like that in fear that your wounds might be torn apart again. Did I blame you for protecting your heart? No because, I for one was also a broken person when we met.

The more time we spent together somehow, someway we always ended up making each other feel better. Me, for one always trying my best to show you that no I will not hurt you in anyway and you showing me that you are trying to add some hearts and flowers. WOW our all time high was the years 2010-2011. That was our peak, we were beyond smitten with each other and you, you were a totally different caliber of man. My knight in shinning armour, My superman, My ray of sunshine, My everything. You made me happy, you taught me how to get out of the shell I was living in for so many years. You taught me how to smile and look at life and people differently then the way I was looking at them. You taught me how to have faith in you and that you were not "one of THOSE guys" I look back at the TWO peaks years and still smile because it was our best years. 2012 was a challenge for us. We got more obstacles in that year then anybody we know and the funny part of it all is that nobody knew about the tough times we endured but the nice part of it was we got through it together and it made our bond even stronger. It carried us through parts of 2013 when things just all started to go sour slowly but surely again. The man you grew into was slowly starting to leave and overshadowed by another kind of you. Its hard to explain it all but looking at the man you are now, you have lost your way. I find that when you allow obstacles to get in the way of your life and your attention span channels toward those obstacles. We tend to steer away from what is important in our lives.

You were never great at many things in our lives together but the little things you were great at has fallen by the way side. You have lost that part of your being and one can only pray that one day, some day you will be that man again. One who will go to the ends of the earth to see his wife happy and smiling. One who would not allow anything or anyone to come between us no matter who, what or where. One who opens his eyes and knows that his day started with me and ends with me. Those random acts of kindness that kept me sitting with bated breath waiting to see what will happen next and when it will happen. One that will make his wife and child his number one priority. Ive never missed the man you were as much as I do lately. Mainly because who you were and are has an amazing knock on effect not only with me but so many others. I sit back and think that there are still so many things about you that I do not know. However I can see the damage and hurt it has created and left and still in many ways regardless you have taught yourself how to be the man you are when you want to be the man you feel like on a specific day. I do try my best to be the best and I am first to put my hand up and say I have my moments. Alot lately as well but there are reasons for that. One can only hope we get out of this funk.

Dear Husband, things may not be hearts and flowers for us at the moment and recently but, the best part of my day and life is knowing that I love a man who I didn't think I could ever love after having gone through so many ups and downs. Life is not always simple, its not always easy but when we have each other to walk through life with NO WEAPONS FORMED AGAINST US SHALL PROSPER!