Wedding Diary 3

So with 529 days to go to the big day, i guess its time to reflect on the colours of the wedding, how exciting :). We just started talking and suddenly the colour choosing came up and much to i surprise well to my surprise, as hard as i thought it was going to be choosing the right colour, it wasnt hard at all. We didnt want to choose the same colours of weddings we have attended already so for me the task was kinda going to be a mission. But Gawain came to the rescue and made the decision for us much easier.

We both wanted black as our base colour as we have attended alot of functions not just weddings where their base colour and decor was white. So we said as we want our wedding to be different and unique we want the base colour black. Then we took my favourite colour and matched it with the black and decided against it for the mere that it is such a common colour and many people use it. So black and blue was a no, no. We then matched his favourite colour with the black and well what cant i say other then breathtaking. His facvourite colour is Wine Red and when you add that to the black you get those most amazing blend of colour and gives a sense of romance and intimacy. Which is nice to add up to a theme which is what our wedding is. but will have that in the next wedding diary.

However cause the two colours are dark i thought we needed a bright colour to break it and just have that sense of romantic yet everything put well together. I suggested we break the dark colours with Silver cause once again we steered away from white. He liked the silver and bam a smile from me and a smile from Mr Johannes. We knew immediately that we had come to a conclusion and that was the colours of our wedding.

Black, Wine Red & Silver.

Cant wait for the 500 days to be over so we could be closer to the wedding. I love the colour and it will make our guests see just how much we love each other and what we feel for each other which is exactly what we want.

End of the weekend

As we are at the end of the weekend,all i can say is,it was average.Friday there was some tension between us.Saturday we seemed to be walking away together holding hands from that dark cloud that was above us.Today we seemed to have ease back to being us again.Im hoping we can keep it this way and get better and love each other more and stronger with each passing hour.In his words we had a fairly quiet weekend.After the week we had i agree with him in saying the weekend was average.Now all we do is keep moving forward.

Dark Cloud Above Us

You know i know there is a saying that goes, every up has its down and what goes up must come down. But i never really thought it would really come to par. I mean come on give me a break, all my relationships has always been starting off with an up and the minute it went down it stayed down and 9 outta 10 i got my ass kicked to the curb, i got my heart broken. I am a seriously, severely hurt female due to past relationships but you know what after all of those mishaps i have never been stronger. i have learned and with learning become stronger.

I am now so inlove with a man and i didnt know that i could ever love someone again and this much. everyday is a new day and everyday brings new challenges. We have been together for 1 1/2yrs and it has definitely not been the easiest of things but we have managed to get through each day no matter how hard or how easy it is. Over the past few months our relationship has been absolutely top class. i wake up every morning smiling cause it is just amazing. there isnt a word out there that i can think of that describes just how great our relationship has been. Yet here comes that stupid saying every up has its down.

Over the past two weeks things hasnt really been to good due to a slight argument and even though it was supressed and to me solved i was hopelessly wrong and find myself in a position today that i wish i wasnt in. I only hope that is this going to continue to make up and build our relationship instead of break us.Yesterday the supressed feelings and thoughts of the man of my dreams cup just over flowed. he could no longer keep it surpressed. I do admit i triggered it by making such a STUPID comment which has now led us to where we are at today. Not talking, i havent slept properly last night, i have a hell of a headache and i dont know how he is coping. we often underestimate our men by thinking they are heartless and cant feel the way we feel. well news flash ladies, as hard as it can get for us so does it for men. they hurt to, they have feelings as well and they go through everything we go through except our periods.

I feel like shyt to use a better word yet i dont care how i feel i am more worried about him and what his feeling and what his thinking then myself. He is more important right now and all i want is for this dam dark cloud that has just shimmied its dam way over our relationship to bugger off. We were close to perfect, cause nothing in live is perfect yet we try to get close to it and that where we were and that is where both of us would like to be again. We have both sacrificed so much for our relationship and we have both been working so hard at what we have right now. I just want that cloud to find a spot somewhere else and away from us.

We love each other, we want to be together, we are building a future. Enough with the negativity and leave us be!!!!!!!

Trying to solve it

Today we officially have 533 days to go till the big day. Seems so far but when we really start to get into the planning and arranging of it closer to the time, time will without a doubt fly. Part of me cant wait for that time and part of me well doesn't want that to come, in fear that it might just effect us in a bad way which is not what we are going to need. But hey i guess we are going to have to wait and see what happens and how things end up.

With this in mind, i thought i am not really going to be reflecting today on the progress of the wedding as i can do that again tomorrow. Today i will reflect on current happenings in an effort to bond my relationship with Gawain to what it was. Over the past say two weeks things hasn't really been so great between us. However from an outsiders prospective they would say we seem so happy and we look awesome together (that we know lol). Recent weeks has brought a bit of a down slide for us, somehow, someway we don't really know how it got that way. All we know is that it has to stop and we need to make our way back to being on track with our plans.

I can only speak for myself when i say that i am partly to blame for what is happening cause not only is it hormonal but, i have been battling to cope with the distance between us and i am at a point where i hate saying good bye to him at the end of the night. Im constantly wishing that we were at that stage already that when i travel home at night from work, i want to be traveling towards our home. i want to get home and start making supper for him or with him. i am at a point where, when i get into bed at night i want him to be next to me. All of this has contributed to my attitude over the pass two weeks not really realizing that it would end up effecting my relationship negatively. Oh and lets not forget that i think i am busy turning into a bride-zilla. Always panicking and stressing as to whether or not things are going to go as planned on the big day and i always end up so depressed i take it out on him. When honestly i should be more confident in him and confidence that the day will go exactly the way we want it to go.

Which again is a negative effect on us as well. So what am i going to do to try and curb this constant mood swings and down slides? The only thing i can do is speak less to him about the wedding. only answer him on it when he asks that way he wont feel like im stressing him or pressurizing him about it. As for coping with the distance and not being able to see him when i want and be around him when i want. Uhm i guess the only thing i can do there is show him how appreciative i am of him coming to me when he can and him being there for me when he can and him making time for me when he can. Rather then moan about only being able to see him weekends. Cause at the end of the day we will get to the point where right now is where i would rather be and that is married, in a house, enjoying each others presence and just constantly working on the amazing relationship we have.

i hope i can stick to this, i know i can, i think i can. Being with him this past year and a half was not easy but it is and was worth it and when we will get to the point where we are married and together, we will sit back switch on the pc come to this blog, read it and go wow i was badly moody back then or just sit and reflect on what it was like. For now i am focused not only on our wedding but i am focused on my relationship with the man i dub the love of my life and that is a fact that i am quite comfortable with to say yes he definitely is that.

I LOVE YOU GAWAIN

Everyday i love you more and more,I thought i had loved before but,i was wrong.This is a whole new experience for me cause i never knew a love like this could ever exist let alone experience it. Its not that i never knew a love like this could exist its more me never knowing that i would end up loving someone as much as i do you. We have had our fair share of up's and down's yet, all of those has molded who we are and what kinda relationship we have. It has bonded us and given us new meaning to life and love. Like you told me once "No longer are we flying in the wind and rain, we are above the clouds and the view from here is awesome" no one couldve said those words better then you. But regardless of what we have been through, going through and have yet to face and experience. At the end of the day and at the end of it all the only things that matters is that what we have is real and we love each other more with each passing hour.

Love always and Forever~~

Wedding Diary 2

So today this diary is about the catering we will be having at the wedding. So i have contacted possibly over about 30 different caterers with regards to doing the food at the wedding and thats besides all the venues i have contacted. The venues we have looked at or the ones i have emailed which is possibly over 40 all has their own restaurants with set menus that they work with and they are not exactly the cheapest set menus i have ever seen. The minimum quote i received was possibly about R170 per person.

Now if i were to pay R170 per person for food then i would be paying more for food then i would be paying for the venue and my FI would get a heart attack with prices like that. After sitting down and discussing this aspect of the wedding. We went on to decide that we have no guarantee that if we pay so much per person that all our guests would get a satisfactory meal or would be filled with what is served to them. As my FI is not as open minded as i am and he doesnt really like to try new things. He said he thinks it would be best if we stick to the things we know. That is actually his favourite line when it comes to eating out or going places on weekends. he suggested that we do what his parents had done for catering at his fathers 50th birthday. That was to contact companies who do spitbraai's. We know that the amount of food these companies cater for is always more then the amount of people who are at the functions. So naturally i thought he was on to something and that i should contact a few companies and get a few quotes.

Low and behold i came across a few of these companies who does a full 3 course meal for functions for as little as R120 per person and these prices includes crockery and cutlery and staff needed on the day. That is basically the price his parents paid per person for his dads function and the food on the day was nice and everyone was happy. I told my FI about it and he was smiling from ear to ear. Another touch of difference from us on the day just the way we want it as not many people have spit braai's at their weddings. Another aspect would be that we want everyone to say wow that is so you too and we know with that they will definately be saying that.

So its settled for our guests who hasnt experienced a spit braai yet, they will on our day. To our guests who hasnt attended a wedding yet where the menu is a spitbraai well they will be on our day. The more i get into the planning of our wedding, the more excited i get with all the new ideas that gets thrown at me daily. This morning one of my bridesmaids told me that my FI told his bestman about the venue and food plans etc and he is very excited about our wedding and he seems extremely inlove with me mmmmmmmmmmmmm that was nice to hear but he shows me daily and people saying it to just makes this wedding and my mr all the more special then what it and he already is!!!