Dear Husband

I can still remember the expression on your face the first time we met. You were different, unique and in a league of your own. Besides the fact that I did not allow you to come near me or touch me. These were attributes that drew me closer to you. Although apart of you seemed to be very broken, you still managed to keep the "sunny side up". Little did we know on that day we would end up dating, nor did we know that we would end up dating for 3years much less did we know that we would be married for over 4years. Quite interesting don't you think? I must say though as different and special as you were back then, there was alot to learn and boy did we learn. Sometimes the easy way and sometimes the hard way. But within time you slowly but surely started showing the TRUE you. Who you really were? What you were? A character in person that no person can turn you into only YOU can do that for yourself. Undoubtedly the more I saw the real you, the more I got drawn into you. The closer we became and the better things became. As you know our relationship did not start filled with a bed of roses. What does Christian Grey say? "Im not the whole hearts and flowers kinda guy". Yep that was you, you were not the hearts and flowers kinda guy. You were to wounded to put yourself into a position like that in fear that your wounds might be torn apart again. Did I blame you for protecting your heart? No because, I for one was also a broken person when we met.

The more time we spent together somehow, someway we always ended up making each other feel better. Me, for one always trying my best to show you that no I will not hurt you in anyway and you showing me that you are trying to add some hearts and flowers. WOW our all time high was the years 2010-2011. That was our peak, we were beyond smitten with each other and you, you were a totally different caliber of man. My knight in shinning armour, My superman, My ray of sunshine, My everything. You made me happy, you taught me how to get out of the shell I was living in for so many years. You taught me how to smile and look at life and people differently then the way I was looking at them. You taught me how to have faith in you and that you were not "one of THOSE guys" I look back at the TWO peaks years and still smile because it was our best years. 2012 was a challenge for us. We got more obstacles in that year then anybody we know and the funny part of it all is that nobody knew about the tough times we endured but the nice part of it was we got through it together and it made our bond even stronger. It carried us through parts of 2013 when things just all started to go sour slowly but surely again. The man you grew into was slowly starting to leave and overshadowed by another kind of you. Its hard to explain it all but looking at the man you are now, you have lost your way. I find that when you allow obstacles to get in the way of your life and your attention span channels toward those obstacles. We tend to steer away from what is important in our lives.

You were never great at many things in our lives together but the little things you were great at has fallen by the way side. You have lost that part of your being and one can only pray that one day, some day you will be that man again. One who will go to the ends of the earth to see his wife happy and smiling. One who would not allow anything or anyone to come between us no matter who, what or where. One who opens his eyes and knows that his day started with me and ends with me. Those random acts of kindness that kept me sitting with bated breath waiting to see what will happen next and when it will happen. One that will make his wife and child his number one priority. Ive never missed the man you were as much as I do lately. Mainly because who you were and are has an amazing knock on effect not only with me but so many others. I sit back and think that there are still so many things about you that I do not know. However I can see the damage and hurt it has created and left and still in many ways regardless you have taught yourself how to be the man you are when you want to be the man you feel like on a specific day. I do try my best to be the best and I am first to put my hand up and say I have my moments. Alot lately as well but there are reasons for that. One can only hope we get out of this funk.

Dear Husband, things may not be hearts and flowers for us at the moment and recently but, the best part of my day and life is knowing that I love a man who I didn't think I could ever love after having gone through so many ups and downs. Life is not always simple, its not always easy but when we have each other to walk through life with NO WEAPONS FORMED AGAINST US SHALL PROSPER! 

The Re-Up/Revamp

I literally haven't blogged anything in over 4 years and its safe to say that so much has been happening. Life has been happening. I got married December 2011. Learning how to run a house hold and being a good wife has not been the easiest of tasks but I can honestly say that I have been trying to do the best that I can do and personally challenge myself each time to just go one step further, one step further in everything I do for my home and my husband. However in saying that I have become quite slack over the pass few months. WHY?


On the 31st March, one interesting morning, life decided to throw another challenge my way. I found out after years of trying that I was PREGNANT. You will not believe how shocked I was at 5am looking at that darn test. I literally told the stick "no that cant be possible" welp it was and my husbands reaction was priceless. The 1st April we took another test just to double check and yes of course again it showed positive. Immediately when I got to work I tried calling my dr who conveniently was on leave. I eventually managed to get hold of another dr who then could only see me on the 22nd of April. I mean really having to wait almost an entire month just to get 100% full proof confirmation that I really am pregnant was abit hectic. When the time came and we went for our very first check up, there the baby was. Tossing and turning while I am speechless and in shock and my husband emotional and teary eyed. That was undoubtedly one of the best moments in my life. My last month of pregnancy was abit of a toughy to say the least but low and behold on the 1st October 2015 at 13h05pm our BEAUTIFUL baby boy was born. The moment that put him next to me in that theater I fell inlove on a whole new and different level BUT I shall get into the experience later. So this is why I have been a slacker of a wife lately because all my attention and love has been going to my soon to be 5month old little boy. Let me just say that it has been LIFE CHANGING. I look at him and think "WOW that grew inside of me. GOD is amazing" The new journey in my life has had its fair share of moments. Like everything we go through it brought on its fair share of ups and downs, good times and bad times and yes he is still young and we have many, many paths to walk with him but for now what I have learned thus far, its all just been an experience of a life time. So much so that I cant wait until we start planning on baby number 2 because really now little did I know I would feel this way BUT, I ACTUALLY MISS BEING PREGNANT. Some women would call me crazy but no I really do miss the experience.

So as you can see LIFE has been quite interesting and then to add even more juice to it all, we all bought a house, FINALLY. We will be moving soon and when I say soon I mean in a few days. Something new coming our way again, quite interesting hey but most times I feel like we have been extremely favored and blessed. However over the pass few days I have been really thinking about my blog and getting back into it again because it is also my means of venting. So here I am, lets see how much it lasts this time :)