22 months

Today we reached the 22 month mark of being together.What can be said that hasnt been said already?What god brought together,let no man tear it apart.Im happy,his happy and love holds us together and strenghthens us. dedicated to Gawain Johannes

Overwhelming Happiness

Every morning i find myself all moody etc, mainly because i am not a morning person. However this morning or shall i say today, i feel like this new person overwhelmed with happiness. Why mainly because things are finally starting to take shape, fall into place and feel so so right. A few months ago i had a taste of what i am feeling today but it got taken away from me for a period of about three months. I didnt know what to do cause i didnt know whether i could handle the situation i faced.

What i then did was the only thing i could do and that was go on my knees and turn to god. I spoke to him, told him how i feel and what was presently happening in my life. i told him to take over my life and i laid it all in his hands. if it is in his will, it will be and i trust in him. Its amazing how talking to god and trusting and believing him can turn things around. The turning point came two weeks ago, i knew about it, i could feel it but not as much as i can feel it this morning and the way i felt it last night. God allowed me to have the strength and talk to my partner about a problem we were having. Much to my surprise, my partner reacted in a way that he hasn't reacted in a while. He was sensitive and understanding and that was literally the third time since we started dating almost 2yrs ago that i was shown this side of him. He to then started speaking his heart and telling me how he feels and that right there was a turning point.

My partner turned into the person he is and not the one he was pretending to be all the time. He was himself, seeing him cry whilst speaking to me was such an amazing sight. Since then his been to me a very different man, when really he is finally being himself. His come to me this week to tell me that he thinks we should start thinking about our future again. We should start getting into buying things for our house again and that it is time for us to really start focusing on our future. Hearing those words come out of his mouth is something that i have been looking forward to for the past three months and i was at a point where i thought it is not going to happen and we were not going to have a future anymore. But i was wrong, since talking to him two weeks ago and him also talking about how he feels, things has definitely turned around and right now things are looking brighter and feels better and we are happy as we finally now are starting to put our relationship as a main focus.

Last night we sat down and ticked off everything we have already bought and made a list of everything that still needs to be bought and the most important thing that we mutually decided last night is that we will devote ourselves to going to church and spending more time worshipping and praising the man we have to owe it all to. He brought us together at a time when we both needed it. He gave us a chance to grow, he allowed us to build a strong relationship and his love for us will not end nor will he forsake us. We owe it all to the man above for allowing us and giving us a chance to be happier then what we have ever been before. The feeling is really undescribeable and all i can say is you have to experience it to know how it feels. Thank you lord for all you have done for us and for all you still plan on doing for us~~

A Mothers Cry

Over the past two days, i have been emailing one of my friends who is Australian and lives in Australia. She has recently found out that one of her son's has been diagnosed with High Functioning Autism and to make matters worse her baby of a few months old is showing signs of it as well. She is a single mother who has 4 kids and the dad is just a useless piece of junk (in my eyes). He doesnt want to really be apart of his children's lives but when they need him to sign a parental consent for one of them to do something he kicks against the curb not wanting to sign anything and he is just plain difficult, making things even more difficult for my friend.

As we continue to talk about how she feels and what she is going through at the moment i can really sense that she is hurting, i mean this is her child. Regardless of the fact that she is a single mother, like every mother out there she loves her child and it is hurting her to be experiencing this in her life. i feel so bad cause i cant help her in anyway other then allow her to talk about how she feels and what this is doing to her. i must say yesterday talking to her she was freaking out not knowing how she will cope with the whole situation but i have tried to make her see things from all angles and i am glad to say that today she is feeling much much better.

This makes me think seeing as South Africa recently celebrated Womans day that this in a weird way is kind of fitting. It makes me think that us females are strong enough to with stand anything and everything that is thrown our way.We deal with it the best way we can possibly think of dealing with it which is a gift from GOD. he bring us to it and he will bring us through it if we allow it which i really think we should do. We as woman dont really realise our strength or the ability we have to handle things because we believe that we cant get through it but the minute we do, we are so amazed, Why i do not know.

I believe that God will see my friend through this time in life and help her in every way possible to get through this and allow her and her children to experience some happiness and see that tomorrow bring a brighter day. I will be as supportive as i can be all the way down here from South Africa and she knows it.